artist wanted

Since late October I have been mostly unemployed. Except for the lack of money, I've enjoyed this time off. I think the most important thing is that I started drawing again. I took a free drawing class at the museum and each Thursday night we spent two hours sketching paintings and sculpture throughout the museum. As I followed the lines of each painting I was able to see the composition and understand details I hadn't noticed. Sometimes I would sketch the negative space and understood the importance of it.

I began sketching ideas for my own paintings. For the past several years I haven't been able to get anything on canvas. It's not that I wanted to sit down and immediately paint something brilliant. I never was a brilliant painter, just someone who liked to paint. This is my hobby, my creative thing. But the creativity wasn't flowing because I didn't have any new ideas. I played with color and shapes and textures but it was all practice and no substance.

Then I went to an exhibit around the corner from my house- Drawings by Eva Hesse. I once flew to San Francisco to see an exhibit of her work and now it was only a couple of blocks away. These drawings are simple in detail and there was a beauty in that simplicity. The shapes became patterns and the patterns became shapes. I began sketching her work but eventually found myself with new ideas for my own work. I sat down on the bench in the room to the right and filled page after page of my own patterns, my own shapes and colors. With each line I came closer and closer to understanding what I wanted of my art.

The other day I was thinking that during this time off I hadn't accomplished anything. I should have written a novel or started my own business or organized the entire house. But I accomplished something I had almost given up on. Now I can look back on this time and know that this was when I found my art.